another ramble. feel free to ignore

so, as of today, i am officially on spring break.

and i'm already bored.

now, don't get me wrong, i'm so glad that spring break is here. i was anxiously waiting for it.

school lately has been absolutely insane. a lot of work, not enough time or motivation to do it. play rehearsals have been a ton of fun, but those take up some time. honestly, it's gotten to the point that one of my friends told me that i could "finally relax" now that it's spring break.

and that set me thinking (which can never end up well...).

am i really the kind of person that is always rushed or worried? i never thought i was.
honestly, i don't even know how much time i waste just surfing the internet or being lazy or whatever.
but apparently everyone thinks i'm a great time manager who fills all my time wisely and still manages to have fun.

please excuse me while try to calm my laughter over this.

ok, now that i've managed to stop laughing at that idea (cracks me up every time), let's talk about this.

i'm the kind of person that will put something off for a really long time, have an anxiety attack or something when it's almost due, then stay up late and get it done at the last minute. and some how manage to get good grades.
no, i have no idea how. so don't even bother asking, because i cannot explain it.

however, from what i've heard from others, i give off the impression of always being busy and managing my time well and everything.

i guess what i'm trying to get to is the theme of john green's paper towns.
if you haven't read it, go. now. this next part will talk about the theme of it, so if you're one of those people that doesn't want to know anything, stop reading now. [:

in his book paper towns, john green talks about how we don't see each other. we see almost a mirror of sorts in which what we want to see is reflected back to us. we don't see people for who they are, but who we want them to be.
it also talks about how the only times we really see people for themselves are when both you and the person you are trying to "see" are both "falling apart".

after reading that book, it's something i've thought of a lot.
and this whole concept everyone has of me being a good time manager has made me think about that.
the friends that know how not true this is are the ones who have stayed up with me on a night i've been trying to finish a project due the next day or the ones who have sat through my freak outs over everything i have to get done at that moment.

this was more of a rambling blog than i meant it to be, but hopefully it made some sense and got something, even if not exactly my point, across.

peace,love,andipods.